After discovering Nicole’s blog I have been rethinking my diet.

I always do after I stumble upon some ED recovery’s philosophy on food. I find it miraculous when food works as a collaborator in their healing. And sure I always want to try it. Maybe it is better than mine; maybe it’ll heal me too.

WRONG.

When I was ready for recovery a year ago, I needed a plan. The books I had read on Bulimia proclaimed the structured eating plan and the legalization of all food. The plan sounded good, but I could never stick to eat. EVER. Feeling a failure I dig deeper to the net and found out some interesting recovered girls’ stories proclaiming the different approach to food – vegetarian, vegan, sugar free, gluten free, low carb, eating chocolate every day, intuitive diet, eating six times a day, fasting for a half of the day and so on and so forth…

And I’ve tried them all.

Some of them lasted for a week, some for a half of the day. And instead of feeling a failure this time I pretended to be a detective in a search for my own holy grail. It took time, but I found it, stuck to it and was healed. (Of course food was just a part of the whole recovery, but the big one)

I guess, my rambling today is about how no diet or way of eating is ever going to work the same for two people.

Even though we share the same history of the disease, similar interests and views on the world – we are not the same. One will never know what works for him until he allows himself to find out. Following other peoples path doesn’t work. Recovery means discovering what you are. What do you like eating? When do you like eating? How do you feel after eating certain foods, and what do you really crave: the chocolate or a hug? It will never be the same as it is for Nicole or for me, or other ex-bulimic. There’s no right recovery or food philosophy, cause at the end we all look for the happiness and health.

Speaking on my philosophy: last night’s dinner:

Scrambled eggs

 

wine

 

and goat cheese. Yes, it’s dairy. I’m so bad….

So, do you have your food philosophy?