I thought of giving up primal.
Well not completely. I love non processed food, fresh meat, vegetables and good fats, but I thought that I am smart and strong enough to start making my own decisions,while not following any diet patterns.
A week ago I’d received this beautiful box of French chocolate truffes.
Even without looking at the nutrition facts I knew it was not 85% or even 70% dark chocolate – therefore no way I could enjoy it. Because it’s not primal and because it’ll give me cravings I desperately want to avoid.
But a few days ago I craved it badly.
I had waited for 15 minutes, drank wanted, then drank some cinnamon tea – I still wanted chocolate – just a couple of those truffes.  I was terrified. In my bulimic life the one in my mouth was always the precursor to the ten that came after it and the two bags after that. In a normal dieting mentality, giving me chocolate would be like handing an ax to an ax murderer. A few days before I’d not had a good experience with the chocolate either.  However I thought I could handle it. I sat down. Focused on what I was doing and took one bite…

One bite.

It was divine.

I took that bite slowly, as if heaven existed right here, right now, and I’d deserved to experience it. 

I had two of those.

I put the box away.

After a half on an hour I was having ten more… there I panicked.

What the hell was happening? I was mad, furious, frustrated. I was facing all bad about being a failure yet again…

But it wasn’t the worst – I started to experience some fatigue and sluggishness. My body felt sick.

I’d sucked it up. Had my wine and went to bed.

The next morning I wrote this: If sugar is a food that causes me to want more of it, and if I eat more than what feels good in my body, then I have a decision to make: Do I keep sugar in my life because it tastes good, or do I eliminate it because I don,t feel good when I’m eating it?

My body wants to feel good. It wants energy. It wants to feel alive and passionate about the new day.. I have to return to trusting my body because it knows what to eat. My mind however might not know. My mind might be screaming and shouting that it wants chocolate cake, but my body might be asking for an apple. I have to return to the voice of your body. Trust that much. 

I love chocolate. I’ll miss chocolate. However me and chocolate – NO MATCH.

Did you eliminate certain food or food groups ? And why?