Hello everyone/someone/anyone???!!! I missed you all so much. Being away made me realize that though I only have some “internet” friends, I still consider you all true real-life friends and am so happy to be back here blogging and reading about what you all have been up to.
Life is beautiful.
Recovery – sucks.
Some things/events just sent to some kind of coma
– and you feel nothing. Emptiness. And as you don’t turn to food to fill you up anymore – you fell numb, lost and scared – well maybe do not you – I DID.
Now I realize that such “floating” does nothing good to me. I need to participate and feel and experience and BE.
I realize that my writing doesn’t make much sense, however – early in my recovery I have decided to live a better life. A life of compassion and gentleness and hope, with no more anger, no more anguish, no more doubt.
My heart was exhausted from all the fighting, the worrying, and the pain. I decided then and there that I would strive each day toward eliminating these emotions from my life. I was simply too tired and weak to carry that burden any more.
But in life you can’t simply block those bad emotions.
You fall. And then get up. Even if it’s the millionth of times. GET UP. It’s never too late. Ever. Believe me.
I get up.
Last night I had my Beaujolais .
I forgot to buy some fashion magazines… so that’s on today’s agenda…