Stepping away from all the ugliness I let my blog fill in with and sincerely apologizing to You who read and to the Person I may have hurt, I want to tell the second part of the Angel Story.
The first one was about my special Angel – Granny: the Love, the Grace, the Beauty. The story about when I was seven. About when I’d learned how angels dance.
My Granny moved with us when my Granddad died. One day she just appeared at our door: little, lean lady with wrinkled hands and face and a hoarse voice. She taught at the ballet school. I was to share my room with her. I loved the idea. I adored her. We were spending all our days together, at the ballet school in the morning, then in the coffee shops in the afternoon and sunsets by the sea.
She was kind.
I liked to sit with her on the shore and listen to her stories; about thieves stealing her strawberries, my grand grandmother’s success in Paris, the granddad’s exceptional mustache and the special one about the Crab living in her stomach. (Crab and Cancer in Lithuanian is the same word)
“Is It big?” I used to ask and she was showing me her fist, “Like this!”
“What does It do?” I asked then.
“It eats my food.” she answered.
“That’s why you eat so little,” I was always concluding. “You don’t want to get It some.”
And she laughed.
But I didn’t.
I imagined the strange creature with two claws, moving backwards and grabbing Granny’s bread.
Bad Crab!
I remember once at the dinner table, when the old lady had barely touched her food, I said something about Crab starving to death, I’ve heard my father’s fork falling on the floor; saw his mean look that he used to give me, when I had done something wrong. That evening he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at my Granny.
Since then the Crab story was forever forgotten.
But I knew the Crab existed.
I saw my granny getting weaker, older and smaller.
She quit the ballet school.
She walked, talked and laughed less.
She stopped dancing. Forever.
She faked her strength when I was around and I could do nothing but pretend back: the carelessness, joy and bravery.
One night I woke up from the thunder.
Rumbling sound frightened.
I sneaked into my Granny’s bed which was just right next to mine, put my little arms around her slim body and heard her saying, “It’s OK, sweetie. It’s just Angels dancing.”
Angels danced all night long.
Outside.
In my dreams.
And they forgot to guard.
They overlooked the calamity that passed through my house.
In the morning Granny’s wrinkled hands were cold.
I couldn’t wake her up.
No one could.
She died the night that Angels danced.
To join the troupes of Heaven.
lulu said:
This is such a powerful post. Thank you for sharing this story – it is as heart-breaking as beautiful.
Greta said:
Thank You, for reading, Lulu.
doesmybumlookbiginthis said:
This is beautiful Greta, your Grandmother sounds remarkable and gentle. Angels dancing in the sky, i’ll try to remember that 🙂 xx
Greta said:
Thank You, sweetie. It’s more like angels stomping, not dancing I guess. Hihihi.
Jennie said:
hi dear,
now i can see why you are so special~ your granny’s love, grace, and beauty remain in you. she has not died forever, but lives in you… i hope you believe this!
Greta said:
Oh, this comment has touched my heart, Jennie. Thank You so much.
Jen D said:
Oh, so lovely. I had a beautiful grandmother too and I miss her so much, even all these years later. Thanks for the gentle reminder of her today.
Greta said:
I’m so happy you liked it, and I believe you had (still have) a lot of wonderful people you treasure in life.
Erin Cole said:
What a beautiful post! It reads like a fairy tale, and to my eyes, serves as a gentle rain to wash away yesterday’s angst. I missed the drama but I see that your friend Shannon did quite the job in defending you. Hope you’re feeling good today 🙂
Greta said:
I’m glad you liked it and I’m thankful for ALL your support so much, Erin. You are great!
Gel said:
Oh my gosh Greta, I feel so moved…to tears. I’m not finding words….
Thank you for sharing this. It touches me deeply.
A bit later…It occurs to me to try what your granny did…when I have a fear…..to try to see it as an angel dancing about something. I don’t know….maybe this is silly, but I feel compelled to find a way to apply this story to life. It seems to be such a golden nugget.
Greta said:
You are so lovely, Gel. Finding all the positives in every aspect of life. Your gentleness is immense. I truly envy your spirit.
elizadolly said:
Beautiful!
Greta said:
Ugh, my little Australian-joygirl. Firstly – thank You. Secondly – missing you like hell, as you take a little space in my heart. I don’t even ask if you are well, because I know you are tremendously great. I’m very happy to know you are still there having the best times of your life.
xo
elizadolly said:
🙂
am said:
Your story about you and your granny is food for my soul and healing for my heart and gives me something profound to think about this evening. You and Granny brought me to tears of gratitude.
Greta said:
I’m so thankful for this beautiful comment, Am. I’m also delighted I’ve brought a tiny bit of joy into your soul.
Nataly said:
I love the way you’ve woven this story. It’s absolute poetry while speaking about such a heart-breaking point in your life. Your granny sounds like she was an amazing woman and despite her suffering from cancer, was not one to complain but dealt with her situation with dignity and grace. You too have those qualities 🙂 Much love. xo.
Greta said:
Smiling to my ears here, Nataly. This comment is so special. Thank You so so much for those words.
Kath (My Funny Little Life) said:
This post went straight to my heart.
Greta said:
I’m very happy it reached your soul, Kath. Thanks.
Maribel said:
Tears in my eyes — beautiful! My father used to say that thunder meant the angels were bowling in heaven…
Greta said:
You have an amazing dad to tell you such beautiful things as angel bowling. Isn’t that so calming to actually be aware that something truly exists to watch out for us in life? Thank you, for sharing it, Maribel. This means a lot to me.
Roxy said:
Don’t know if you do these, but I nominated you for an award. http://adverseuniverse.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/awards/
Greta said:
Wow, Roxy! I’m so pleasantly shocked. Thank You! I’d honorably accept that.
Roxy said:
You’ve been writing some really amazing posts Greta! I’ve been a bit ill hence lack of comments, but I read every single one. 🙂 x
Fiona said:
My heart goes out to you, dear sweet Greta. You are so kind and caring and lovely – I’m sure your Granny, wherever she is now, is very proud of you. xxx
Greta said:
Thank you so much!
I know you’ll be a wonderful mom and granny to your family one day.
And I wrote you an email a minute ago 😉
Fiona said:
It’s moments like this I wish I could hug you for real, sweet friend. An email flying right back to you right now 🙂 xxx
Gel said:
Can you believe it?…..It thundered last night at 3 AM. It woke me up and I lay in bed listening. I have always loved thunder and lightening. We don’t get it very often where I live, at most once a year or even less often.
So I lay in bed and listened and thought about angels dancing. WOW, those are big angels. I guess I would have imagined angels as being smaller. But they’d have to be pretty big to make that much noise. It also challenged my image of angels as dancing delicately and lightly, or floating or flying ….the boom of thunder is deep and heavy. But I could see them….and it was a galloping gleeful dance with big jumps, bumping into clouds and rolling around, and all with kind of a playful, mischevious (sp?) energy. Also….a boldness, not afraid to have a big presence.
Greta said:
I’m smiling here.
Wasn’t that magical, Gel?
To see how angels dance?
Yup. I’ve always imagined them giant. Like titans. As they were meant to guard. I needed them to be invincible.
My country maybe not the best place to live but I’m thankful because I can experience all the season here. Heavy snowing in winters and pretty hot summers with lots of thunderstorms included. I love them too. They are so calming and peaceful. Because I know that some partying is going on up there. 😀
Meghan said:
This is such a beautiful post. My nana passed away in November. Her parents were from Lithuania, and I wish I had gotten to travel there before died. It’s still on my to-do list though.
Greta said:
I’m so sorry for your nana, Meghan. And I hope you’ll have a chance to visit my home land one day. It may be not as exquisite as the places you usually go (just had a glimpse into your blog. must say – wow!) but I bet you’d like it here too. 😉
jennifer5hope said:
Thank you for this glimpse of your Granny. I adored my “Gram” as I called her. It was 13 yrs yesterday since she passed away. Seems like no time at all, my memories of her are so crystal clear and I am so very grateful.
Hugs to you, Greta. Xxoo
Greta said:
Oh, this is such a sweet comment, Jennifer. I’m grateful for you reading and sharing your personal things with me. I wish every person had something so amazing to remember as we do – as our past crafts us to who we are. 😉