Tags
binging, bulimia, eating disorders, emotional eating, fat, mental-health, recovery journey, ugly
I’m having a difficult time here. For a couple of weeks already. I’m kind of lost. 
Having the job problems, relationship problems, anxiety, general dissatisfaction with my body – it’s just huge and not toned enough, friendship complications, learning that being kind does not always pay you back… and overall a vast amount of different pitiful issues.
Also I fear I am relapsing. I am weak. I am worthless and seems I’m doomed to failure.
I find it difficult to recognize recovery in action.
I want to restrict.
I want to quit therapy.
I want to throw furniture around the room.
I want to tear up all the loose paper in my house.
I want to cry in the corner and just stay there all day.
I want to scream at my bf.
I want to resign from the gym.
I want to run, yelling, out of my house in the middle of the night.
I want to delete my blog.
I want to binge.
I want to throw up.
Damn It!
Then I parrot to myself : Come on! Toughen up! You have a wonderful life! You’ve done so wonderfully in your recovery. You are a wonderful person.
Yeah!.. Right!
Somehow none of the above is wonderful. It’s wonderless.
Of course I REALIZE that wanting to take action and taking action are very different.
Wanting to quit, throw, tear, cry, scream, run, restrict, binge, or throw up yet NOT taking the action requires that I bear my feelings.
This means that I’m bearing something uncomfortable.
This means I’m moving beyond my comfort zone.
Just cuz I want to don’t mean I have to.
I hope that wave passes and I won’t have to deal with a messy aftermath…
That’s the story, my friends. Sorry for uninspiring post. Again. And for taking up your time reading it, when I really wish you got up from your computer and did something crazy. Would you? I dear you. 😉 Anything!
xoxo
Coffee Addict 
I am reading and commenting live from the Starbucks drive-thru. You will get through this! I am totally cheering for you! Gwendolyn is, too. xo
Mmm, Starbucks!
I hope you having something delish.
And thank you.
Blueberry KIND bar and delicious Dragon Dark Roast!!! Black, of course. 😉
Black is always in fashion! 😀
Bon appetit 😉
Just in the case our dear psychotic Nikki is again playing mind-games with her readers whose ”confidentiality” she supposes to keep, let me lay out some facts and level the playing field.
Nikki has never been able to maintain friendships. Not as a small, greedy child, not as a moody, unkind elementary age girl, not as an awkward and hateful middle-school bully and especially not in high school or college when her parents could no longer force others to, ”please include Nikki although we know she’s a horror.” She was essentially the consolation prize that nobody wanted when others wanted to include her comparatively well-adjusted and kind sisters whose good names have suffered even as adults due to Nikki’s compulsion for sharing an illusion of her pathetic and small life and including them in her stories both true and completely devoid of fact. I hope for you and others Greta there is some solace in knowing that she’s willing to treat her own sisters so poorly and by that I mean, it’s not anything you (or others) did or didn’t do to warrant her aberrant behavior and threats. It is how she has always behaved although we have all wished that with age would come a modicum of maturity and an ability to stop using threats, lies and manipulation to get her own way, that doesn’t seem to be the case.
Moving on. Nicole Marie became involuntarily unemployed in October of 2010. Meaning she was, in fact, terminated and is not eligible for rehire consideration. Miss ”Objectivist” who doesn’t ”believe” in homelessness and eschews those she calls ”looters” collected unemployment benefits for ninety nine weeks before opening her ”business” of walking dogs and scooping their feces to kill some time during the day, Although I could I won’t reveal anything further about her finances but that’s only out of respect for those supporting her but I would hope most people with logical brains understand that supporting a ”food budget” in excess of $300/wk in addition to gas, car payments, utilities, rent and enormous credit card debt (AGAIN) isn’t possible by walking fewer than half a dozen dogs a week at your leisure.
And just for purposes of clarity as Nikki likes to skate around the issue when she’s not blathering about the uselessness of formal education while at the same time espousing her own degree: Nicole has never graduated from a University and does not have a degree. She earned some ”certificate” type things from occasional online courses provided by her former employer but that is the extent of her post-secondary ”education”. Before she can pipe up (again) about how formal learning is for suckers, understand that Nicole has pursued an actual nutritional certification of her own accord (and someone else’s pocketbook) but like anything else that requires effort, she quit. Or rather ”quit” after being encouraged to leave because she was just as much a distraction and circus in an online environment as she was in the two (TWO) yoga studios that kicked her out when she sought to become a yogi. Education is deemed unnecessary to Nikki because she has yet to show an aptitude for anything but causing chaos and discord for herself and others. But do continue to brag about your ”plant based nutrition” course from Cornell (E-Cornell, to be clear) that anyone with $1500 can obtain. Good on you, Nix!
ANYway, Nikki. Knock it off. Stop being a bully and a liar and a manipulative shrew. It works in your family because your beleaguered parents don’t have a choice but the rest of the world isn’t yours to control and the people in it have the option of shunning you for psychotic, cruel behavior and choices.
Hahahahahaha!
Awww, I struck a cord with you, didn’t I, ‘Shannon’ / ‘Truth’ / … (fill in the blank). Wink wink!
Mwahahahahaha.
Sucker!
Oh darling girl, you have never struck a chord with me. Your behavior has always sickened me and as it’s only worsened as you’ve aged, it’s beyond sad. You can’t manage successful friendships, a legitimate career, a romantic relationship of any sort (which, in reality, would provide more of a respite for your parents than anything else as it would allow someone else to be responsible for at least some of your vast emotional needs periodically), acquiring an education or even not being able to inhale your food when you think nobody is looking. I mean if you’re going to hinge your entire ”persona” on ”management” of an eating disorder then I believe being able to use actual utensils when dining privately and not licking your plate like a dog would be within reason. But not for you, Nix! How about instead of calling you ”Nikki” as so many do in the family, I just say, ”Here piggypiggypiggy!” as you used to to torment others suffering from the same disorder you claim to be holding at bay now. Does THAT strike a chord with you, Looter?
KISSES!!
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Love it!
You love it like a pig loves slop! You forget how well I know you, Nikki!!
KISSES!!
Thank you Shannon. I guess Nicole doesn’t realise that many of us, all this comes as no surprise to. Her behaviour is as transparent as glass. You simply confirm what we already can guess. Insight is such a gift, isn’t it? It stops us from making royal fools of ourselves. Really sad to hear of such a pathetic life. Really sad indeed.
It’s been the hope of many in the family that she would eventually either exhaust herself from a lifetime spent manufacturing drama and seek serious psychiatric help or that she would finally do as she often (dramatically) threatens and detach herself from the family as a whole. She is an emotional & financial vampire; she’s been a burden to her parents for years but because she is seemingly incapable of either contrition or reciprocity (she will bleed you dry & never even consider repayment as it’s beneath her to acknowledge the sacrifices others make for her), I cannot feasibly see the cycle ending.
The internet is perfect for Nikki as it allows her to continue to live and thrive in her disgusting dysfunction and manipulate others from a distance. She continually calls out and shames other for seeking out and accepting help to live better lives while never being honest about her subsidized life-style and egregious personal habits.
And as I told you specifically and exactly before posting this information Nikki, it is a very simple matter of public records. Please, PLEASE deny collecting unemployment for almost two years as posting the documentation available through the Bureau of Labor Statistics is a very simple Google search away. Live in your delusions of grandeur privately at your leisure, Nikki but when you pass off your fantasies as truth to others, I will stop you every-time.
How is book (unreadable manifesto such as it is) coming, Nix? How are those plans coming to live in NYC by February 2013? I hope the loud, bellowing LOL implied at the end of those questions is ringing in your ears for days, Looter.
Kisses!!
Awww. Poor baby wants my history before the book is released? Tsk tsk. I’m a venture capitalist, remember? Buy the book. 😉 Hahahahahaha! And yes, LOL.
Wow, I guessed as much. It all adds up. We do often hate what reminds us of ourselves. And I figured that Papa Story wasn’t commenting under his elder abuse and fraud prevention user name for no reason. Way to go, leeching off your parents like a vampire.
But, please could you two take it away from Greta’s blog now? She deserves to have her own place on the internet, not dirtied by Nicole’s drama that she never wanted. Thank you.
Who is trying to control Greta? And how?
Is ‘Shannon’s word gospel then, Fiona? Or does that only exist in your bible? 😉 hahahahaha! Loser.
I suppose it’s our definite “Adieu”, Nicole.
Take care.
And Greta, from me to you personally please understand: You are incredibly strong and brave for everything you have revealed already and for living an ethical, honest life. Do not allow yourself to be at the mercy of inhumane garbage who would make you believe your shame is greater than your worth or that your value is based on the worst of your days. Nothing could be further from the truth and anyone who tells you otherwise is the epitome of parasitic, emotional looter.
Chin up & never let the bullies hiding behind their own mountain of shame (and shamelessness) control you.
Ugh.
That was difficult to read, Shannon. I’ve always viewed life/people though some positive goggles. Those have helped me to survive a lot; yet damaged my security system as I have forgotten that “all that glitters is not gold.” You know Nicole claims that you are not who you are – but it does not seem so, from what you’ve written.
Anyways, I’m thankful for your support. Life is much more than this blog, blogs and the internet. And I should be living that MORE. 😉
this IS inspiring – Greta, I have had a fair idea that it’s not been good for you – your last few posts speak to me of this struggle – and yet despite all of this, you are still here, still taking one step at a time, still fighting. Want to see what recovery in motion looks like? Look at yourself!! This is what it is. Bearing the really hard, horrible stuff instead of escaping it. Admitting that things are hard, that you have doubts and fears, is part of it. If it was easy, I don’t think any of us would have had this struggle with ED in the first place. Once you stop using the ED behaviours, you are left with all the problems behind it and no way as of yet to cope with them, so yes, it gets hard, really hard. But you know what? You are still here – and that’s what matters. Hang in there. Remember the people who are TRUE friends love you and support you no matter what. You don’t have to be feeling wonderful and happy and everything be lalala fluffy bunnies, “look how good a lie I can live about how wonderful my life is” for true friends to still love you regardless. Life’s like that – up and down, can be really awesome, can be really awful – that’s why people matter so much to me. No matter what happens, you are still Greta – and I love you for being you. I don’t know if this made much sense, but it’s my bedtime! I hope it does help. Love to you, my dear friend – just hang on. Sometimes that’s all we can do – just hang on xxxx
I’m hanging Fi,
Yeah, those smileys make me better.
Your comment is as always touching the depths of my soul and wanting me to have a night long talk to you over all this shit. Or about anything…
Thank you, sis. I love you.
I love you, too, Greta – my inbox is always open to you xxxx
Thumbs up for this smiley! 😀
I know i overdo with those, but they keep me smiling so I just can’t stay away.
I love your post smileys a lot, Kath. They are awesome!
I always think Fiona has the most wonderful comments. I can’t think of anything to add as she covered all the bases so eloquently. DITTO to what she wrote here.
I would just emphasize that it is your honesty and how you allow others to see all the sides of your real recovery process that is so so helpful to me. It might be surprising to hear that your truth about how hard it can be, to deal with life without your old coping mechanism, that this could be helpful to me. You might think that it would be discouraging. BUT it’s not. Quite the opposite. If you were only showing the wonderful parts of living without bulimia, then I would feel like a failure because while my b/p has decreased, I’m still not 100% abstinent and a lot of difficult stuff is coming up for me. I listen to you, who is ahead of me on your progress, and I see you are doing it. You are living with the difficult stuff and not ‘using’ and you are making it. So I feel empowered and strengthened to keep going. I might be able to do it too!
I hope that doesn’t come across weird or make you feel pressured. I’m just trying to share that by you being exactly who you are and sharing about that, it is a tremendous gift to others. And I listen this way to a bunch of different people at different stages of ‘recovery’. So it’s really a community of support that is empowering to me.
Thanks for being you Greta and I pray that this difficult phase eases up for you. Sending love and imaginary hugs!!!
Your hugs are not imaginary at all, Gel. Well, ok – they are, but you have hugged me with your words and support. You always do. I’m so thankful for that.
I’m calmer today.
At least I don’t want to do ALL things from the above. Just some. 😀
So I hope to overcome this bore before long.
xo.
Oh, sweet girl, I am so sorry for your struggles. I’m not a really religious person, but I remember a passage from the bible that says “and it came to pass …”, remember that, it came to pass, and not to stay …. keep your head up, there are many of us that do indeed care about a girl half a world away ….
Aww.. you made me smile from half a world away. 🙂
Such a wholehearted comment. Thank you so much, Jen D. I’d really hugged you if my hands reached over the oceans.
xo.
In response to Jen D’s comment, my aunt said the same to me, and it’s true!
I know the feeling all too well =( Just remember how far you’ve come and stay strong.
I hope you feel better soon.
xxx
Thank you, sweetie.
I’m like this
I hope you are better too.
xo.
Haha! I always love your emoticons!
((Hug))
Hi Greta, just take it one day at a time. I love this quote from Drew Barrymore: Life is very interesting…in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths.
Thank you, B.
I like Drew. And the quote. It’s great!
Keep writing about what you “want” to do….
and choosing not to do it.
Because it helps to get it out.
Because, for me, that is when I realize what I also WANT (truly want) in the long term.
❤ I have a feeling this is one of those "minor blips" …. time takes time and this will pass.
OOO I love this Missy, I’m going to copy this. It will help me right now too.THANKS!!!
Your comment is truly brilliant, Missy.
Gosh, I happen to often forget why I blog – Hello! for THIS!!
Your words are better that an hour and a half with my therapist.
You should charge for those 😉
There is release in expression…..and that comes is many forms….like writing, yes, but also reckoning and acknowledging our feelings. Because, for me anyway, my tendency is to try like mad to escape them or “fix” them….and runrunrun..but we can’t hide.
And that means I used to act on auto-pilot (and we know what we do when that happens — head first into the food).
When I acknowledge how I feel – like you did here. Take a second to feel it….it takes the power away from the feeling.
I’ve done a lot of work/reading and practice of “Constructive Living” and the basic tenets of it are amazing. http://www.constructiveliving.org/
Also – from a biblical perspective (applicable to all realms of belief) each time we deny the flesh — the spirit goes stronger and the flesh grows weaker, which is the Christian concept of “dying to oneself” which sound freaky (I wasn’t always a Christian.) It just means to kill off the fleshly desires that cause us pain, discontent, false happiness.
Read: each time we deny the urge to {hurt ourselves with the ED} the ED, the Urge grows weaker.
That’s the holy grail, Missy “Take a second to feel it….it takes the power away from the feeling” though I’ve read it everywhere like the millionth of times – I guess it takes time and practice to actually get there – to the bottoms of the truth… the texts on the link you’ve left for me look amazing. I’m so thankful for the millionth of time to have people like you here. Sometimes you just hit the whole point of my posts with a thought, sentence, or a made up word. Love you!
I could say all kinds of cliche things like “take it one day at a time,” “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” or something like that. But when people tell me that I just find it condescending. Those statements always pushed me more to the path of emotional eating. So what I will say is that I feel for you immensely. I have been fighting with the same demons lately. And as easy as it would be to turn back to coping mechanisms that involve emotional eating, bingeing, purging, and everything else that goes with ED’s, you have to keep fighting if you want to stay on the path to recovery.
Let yourself feel the emotions. Scream if you need to (I have a punching bag for days like that), cry if you need to, just let yourself feel. Deal with the uncomfortableness of those feeling. Vent as much as you need to vent. Don’t try to keep it in or you will explode. Give yourself the time you need to deal with your feelings. You will get through this, just be kind to yourself in the process.
Yikes, I guess I am guilty of saying “take it one day at a time”. I apologize Greta (or anybody) if my comment seemed condescending; it was not intentional! It’s something that I tell myself when I experience the lows. Even sayings like “this too shall pass” or “things will always work out”. Because when I am out of my lows, I can see the truth in those cliches. They work for me but I now I see that it might not work for others. Greta, please know that I feel for you, connect with you and believe in you. And LIz Adorable, I really love what you wrote. Your words are thoughtful and powerful. “Just let yourself feel” and “Deal with the uncomfortableness of that feeling” – love it.
B….please don’t misunderstand. Those things are definitely something that I tell myself, and sometimes it helps. I just that I don’t believe it, I guess, when I hear them from other people. Not everyone thinks like I do, and I think that is awesome. So don’t take my comment as directed towards anyone who has commented, because that is not my intention ever.
Thanks Liz Adorable, I had a feeling you weren’t directing at anybody but I just wanted to clear the air 🙂 I’m quite new here so I just wanted to make sure that Greta (and yourself) know that I come from a good place. But yeah, when I’m feeling low and people give me ‘advice’…it becomes ‘noise’ to me until I get out of it. That’s when I can reflect and learn and understand. And as always, way easier to give the advice than apply it! But I do hope that Greta Continues writing, she has become my addiction!
Dear B. your quote is amazing. I love you and all my respondents because you CARE! When I whine about something I don’t expect comments at all. Who wants to befriend a depressed girl? But all your support warms my heart – anything you write fits and suits me. I’m blessed to know I have some backing. I’m blessed to have you.
xo.
Ugh. I guess now I’m following you, Liz – the getting out thing: writing things down, screaming out, punching… whatever, anything except turning to food to sooth you.
I’m doing it. At least writing things down has helped me tremendously. Now I need to deal with the rest. Maybe I should go out kick someone’s ass? 😀 Just kidding. Thank you for your support.
I have found that hitting pillows, shooting nerf guns (due to my extreme dislike of actual guns), and throwing nerf balls to be extremely helpful when I get frustrated with myself and the demons I am fighting.
I very sincerely hope that the dreadful comment storm above didn’t take away from the positive comments you are getting. I find it horribly inappropriate that it was brought up here.
Stay strong!!!!
I’m doing way better, Liz. A little kicking of the pillow did help! 😀 I’m truly thankful for everything you’ve written here.
xo.
I think the important thing to remember is that recovery, or life even, is not about deciding to work at being content and then it happening in a straight line. It is expected and perfectly normal to zig zag back and forth from bliss to despair and back again. It’s something you have to commit to every day and practice over and over again. The good times don’t last, but neither do the bad. Chin up, girl!
Your comment is so true, Melanie. Life is a roller coaster – there are ups and downs. So, I’m down. But will I ever be? That depends on me, I guess…
I’m very thankful for your kind words – appreciate them a lot.
You ARE wonderful.
Even wonder has a dark side. But you can (and will) come through it. because there is no other way. You are stronger than this affliction. I know so, and I don’t even know your last name. THAT is how powerful your presence and self is on this blog. We read your words and we KNOW you. So all these people telling you to be strong, be positive and be yourself – we’re not just blowing sparkles up yer ass. We mean it, because it is true.
As my favorite songwriter (Alanis) once wrote : “The only way out is through, and the faster we’re in the better”
Get into that head of yours, do not fear it, FEEL it. Get down and dirty in the mucky muck and fight your way through it.
just love your response !
I love it too. It made me giggle.
“blowing sparkles up yer ass” OMG! So hilarious! Aren’t you? Hihihi.
Gosh, I’d like to make a party and invite people like you – the honest and kind ones – just for some real hugs and sparkle of your eyes; even though I don’t see them, I know they sparkle for the love of life you posses, and because you care.
I believe you, Shannon!
And I truly love what you’ve written. You are wonderful as well! 😉
xo.
I would come to that party! And, I have been told I give excellent hugs!! 🙂
I have to check those out
I’d like to come as well.
Oh, you are more than welcome 24/7 at my house. Seriously. Would you bring the guitar along? Please 😉
Yes of course I would 🙂
I don’t know what else to say, but stay strong and good luck. I haven’t been through that before and i hope you find a way out.
Thank you, sweetie! Your support means a lot. 🙂
Oh Greta, i have no doubt that this feeling will pass. You’re a lot stronger and wiser than you think you are, so get frustrated, feel that frustration and then let it run it’s course. I’m feeling quite lost myself, so know you’re never going through this alone 🙂 I’m going to email you tomorrow my dear xx
We’ll get it through!
Adieu, indeed, Ms. Greta Darguzyte. 😉
Aww, Greta! The thing about setbacks is that we get to move forward from them, and a setback doesn’t mean a total relapse. I’ve been there! You are a strong, lovely person and you will make it to the other side.
If you ever need to talk/vent/etc., feel free to e-mail me @ angelaelackey@gmail.com
{{{Hugs}}}
Thank you, Angela! I’m better. And your support means a lot.
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Greta goodluck fighting back from this. You know somewhere in you that you can and will beat this. Feelings are just that, they are feelings, they don’t have to dominate you or your choices…you can say I feel sad, acknowledge it but DON”T attach to it, don’t own it like that is all there is to you….switch to Remembering times of happiness…that too is not all of you. Centre yourself without attachment….so My body is experiencing this (don’t attach) look in the mirror and don’t attach to what you see, cease to have the emotional connections….because 10 different people will look at that image and have 10 different reactions so where is the truth…it’s all just perception so DON’T attach. From your photos I see a thin Gorgeous looking woman so that’s my perception, my truth but I don’t want you to attach to that either. In other words, beneath all these perceptions, emotional reactions, negative and positive thoughts is the SOUL of the PERSON….precious, beautiful and created and loved by God and that’s the only relevant truth in this world…the rest just does our heads in.
I’ve read your comment yesterday morning and made it though my day without any negative thought of myself. Thank you so much.
I confess, I blog for comments like yours – they are healing. I’m beyond thankful to you. 🙂
Greta you are most welcome and I thankyou for letting me know it made a difference to you. I also wanted you to know I am nominating you for the VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD…because you are. I have not yet posted the blog on this because I am a little behind but it’s almost done. Congrats and keep strong and block ALL negative lies and EMBRACE all positive truths…. xxxLeanne
Aww Greta … *hugs* I wish I could make it easier. Perhaps it helps a little to know that I know these feelings and thoughts myself and I know how difficult it is to bear them. Please don’t forget that you’re such a precious person and that you managed to go such a great distance already. And you know, you don’t always have to “offer” something on your blog. It’s also there for support, and it seems you can need some support now (and already got some, as I can see in the comments above). The most important thing is that none of us is alone. You know I’ve recently said goodbye to some very close friends when they went to settle down elsewhere. But it really doesn’t matter where they are. We keep sharing our lives with each other like we did before. The love of these people has helped me to see my own value, and that makes a basis on which I’m more capable of handling all the things that vex me in my life. I can tell you every day how valuable you are, and that I see you as a true friend although we haven’t met yet (and you know there aren’t many people I’d call a true friend). I’m like you in that I want to think the best of others until they absolutely have no choice anymore, and I always thought that was a kind of weakness, but my friend Cel said to me it’s one of the very best qualities that I have and it’s also one that’s very rare among people, and she asked me not to stop it (although sometimes I really wanted to). But the I know I’d feel bad for not doing right to other people. It depends on how you handle it. If you care for yourself and set boundaries around yourself to protect yourself it’s possible to live with it and won’t get exploited, but it isn’t easy. It takes a lot to develop sufficient emotional strength to stay vulnerable without being hurt, and I’m just developing that. One thing I’ve learned is that it’s okay to just cut people off when they have hurt me. That doesn’t mean I have to think badly of them, I can just think, “He/she is a good person on the inside and deserves happiness like I do myself, but he/she isn’t good for me, so I’ll let him/her go.” This works to solve the dilemma.
Dear Kath, you are the kindest and the most beautiful person. I’m very inspired by your big heart and sensitive soul I am able to experience though your words yet being so far away from you. Your support and interest means a world to me. I cherish every word you share.
I’m not going to be manipulative here, saying he/she referring your amazing advice that concerns only Nicole. I’ve always thought of the best of her. The best I could at least. We grew close once. We shared a lot and I’ll be forever thankful to her for supporting me from the very beginning. I truly hate that we ended up like this, as I truly loved her much. She has inspired me to blog. If it’s not because of her I’d be long done writing and now I seem to enjoy. Yesterday I made my blog private in order to rethink things as deleting it or deleting this post as it is truly hurting to Nicole. But after reading about “a warning” from her this morning I decided to leave it as it is. Having a public blog means I’m open for suggestions and opinions.
I didn’t think of anybody in particular when writing this. It’s just that I’m sensitive and have been hurt by several people who I thought were friends, and then I had to deal with how to handle this psychologically. I don’t want another person to have power over my thoughts and feelings, and at no cost I want anybody to be able to make me worse. I want to be a good person regardless of what others think and do, and thinking badly of other person doesn’t go together with my concept of being a good person, so I have to find a way to stay “clear” psychologically while also not being broken by some interpersonal experiences I’ve made and might make in the future. This is why I differentiate between a person and his/her behavior. The behavior may drive me nuts but that doesn’t mean I have to hate the person or be angry and resentful. It helps me not to tie myself to other people via negative emotions.
As you can imagine, I’m happy you haven’t deleted your blog. It’s a sign of strength (in my eyes) that you didn’t put it on private mode either. 🙂
Your comment made my mind spin. In a good way. I’m that person – someone like you. Gosh, how can I let the true me slide. I feel ashamed.
I think all the recent stuff – the weight gain and other problems made me this bitter person seeing dark sides of everything around. So sad.
Thank you for reminding me of real and important things in life, Kath.
I appreciate it so much.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
Ooohh I had no idea my comment would elicit something like that. I’m happy you could draw so much from it! 😀
Stay strong…every successful journey has a few bumps along the way. 🙂
I love your comment, Tina! The part of the successful journey is a song to my heart. 🙂
Sweetest Greta, I am beyond behind on my blogging, and i apologize that this is getting to you so late. I just want to let you know that I went to an AA meeting today, and listened to men and women who haven’t had a drink in weeks, months, and years all express the same feeling: entirely sure that they want sobriety, and entirely overwhelmed by maintaining it some days. Recovery, in all forms, is difficult. It does not magically get easier because you are not acting out behaviors. The cravings come in waves. Remember, one day at a time. Worry each day as it comes, ask for help, remain honest. We are all here to support you, good times and bad. I’m one week out from my last purge and am ready to pull my hair out, but I am trying to take it one day at a time….sometimes one hour at a time. 🙂
You are never late with your kindness and wisdom, Jeni. I treasure your words like jewels. They mean a lot, as they speak directly to my heart.
I’m better. And I’ll be pushing it. How can’t I with such support and you offer.
I’m so happy you are pushing it though as well.
We can do it, Jeni! One step, one day at a time 😉
xoxo