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blogging, calories per day, diet exercise, diets, emotional eating, food, health, thin
After yesterday’s post I’ve got a really emotional letter from a girl who is overweight. I won’t re-post that sensitive story accompanied with so many exclamation and question marks – believe me, it is heart breaking. Therefore the summary of the letter was that I’m being slim have no right to preach the “Don’t Diet!” approach. But if I do – what are my tips and tricks for staying fit. 
Sigh.
I could definitely write down everything I eat during the week and my exercise routine – but those won’t work for you. You are not me.
The real trick in losing and maintaining weight loss is to engage with your illogical emotional mind.
If you are overweight, reaching and sustaining a healthy weight requires you to develop and embrace the patience and stamina of the long distance runner. A sprint will get you far fast and then leave you exhausted in a heap, probably reaching for chocolate.
Scales, tape measures, and calorie journals make logical sense as weight loss program aids, but eating more than your body needs is not logical. Eventually these aids feel like controlling abusers that require you to rebel. And when you rebel and gain weight you feel defeated. 
Skip the logical control systems and make friendly visits to your emotional and illogical self.
That’s what governs our emotional eating.
If you want to be lighter yet you eat in a way that makes you heavier then you have a conflict going on in your psyche.
The solution to conflict is peace.
Here’s how I began:
I wrote a journal in the morning and before I went to bed. (I know it sucks but I had to. Sometimes I wrote directly to my blog, but mostly on paper.) This reminded me of what I genuinely cared about and offered me nonfood solutions to my emotional needs. My own words alerted my emotional self to the price I paid for going off my weight loss plan. Then I could discover and create plans for caring well for myself with life practices that did not include eating. 
You can too commit to fulfilling uses of your time. Living well instead of eating too much is your long distance practice.
Don’t wait to live the life you want until you’ve lost weight. Go for what you want right now, before you lose weight and as you lose weight. Being active in a life you care about while taking care of your emotional needs is the “trick” that will bring you to your healthy weight. This will give you more happiness and freedom than you can imagine. 
Can you befriend your illogical self? A peaceful partnership within yourself can accomplish wonders and is the best “trick” in town.
xoxo
PS I might be taking a break from my blog (some of you might seen it private yesterday) as my emotional self has become an easy target for strangers to make jokes over my life.
Coffee Addict 
This is so so so good Greta.
I really hope people dig into this and take it to their heart.
The truth is — if you are overweight, you are eating too much. That’s it. Ends there. So why do we eat too much?
TOO many people say “I just love food, that’s all.”
BS. I really truly believe that. People who auto-pilot into that belief “I just love food and I am undisciplined” need to wake up to truth.
And this post goes straight to the matter. It’s not a matter of the carbs or fats or minutes at an elevated heart rate that will make you trim and healthy. It’s a matter of your “illogical self.”
LOVE THIS!
Ps – Please invite me if you privatize your blog.
You are so right about all of this, Missy. I also understand how frustrating it can be to carry that extra weight and to hear someone saying – come on, be happy! But “be happy” advise fits all shapes and sizes because when you are – life falls into pieces and there’s no way that won’t affect ones weight.
Nevertheless I’m a human and I do too look for temporally fixes – so I mainly post for myself. Hihihi 😀
Greta, I truly love how you want to take care of everybody who requests your advice.
“Don’t wait to live the life you want until you’ve lost weight.”
With this, I think you’ve given perfect advice. This is exactly it! Weight is blown up to such illogical significance these days … But if you’re overweight, it won’t help you to focus on the weight loss. This is the same with any other psychological disease. From what I’ve learned so far, I very much believe that the only way to get better (in wahtever way) is to start building up new and supportive things … This doesn’t mean to suppress the problems, but to focus on the health-promoting things (in both a psychological and a physiological sense). So, not distracting yourself, but *actively* building up good alternatives. Focus on the problems will very likely pull you down. If you build good alternative behaviors, that helps to stay away from the dysfunctional ones because it makes them less attractive. That’s the approach I believe in.
Amazing amazing advice, Kath. I needed it. 😉
Just to stop wasting so much energy hating my body; it makes me weaker, uglier and mad.
Everything good in life begins from the moment we begin accepting, understanding, respecting, and loving your true self, right?..
Oooooohhhh you have to approve me again 😛
Hihihi.
Just protecting myself, sweetie 😀
Hi Greta – this is my first time posting on your blog!
I agree wholeheartedly that for any change to really stick, you need to look at the reasons/decisions/actions that got you where you are now. Real change comes from understanding the underlying issues or thought processes. From there, you can make meaningful changes that will have lasting results.
This is a great post (like always!).
PS – if you do decide to privatize your blog, I would really like to be able to still hang out and read your posts.
Aw, I’m so glad you like my blog. So so glad!
And you are absolutely right about fixing ourselves from the inside first. I did try to lose weight by shaming, depriving and fearing myself. And I did end up shamed, deprived, and afraid. Kindness comes first. Always.
Excellent advice, lovingly given. Empowering!!
You give the smartest suggestions in a way that is accessible to many people.
PS.
Me too….if you decide to have a private blog, I would love it if you could invite me.
Oh, thank you, hun.
The process is the goal 😉
Hi Greta! I know I don’t comment a lot but I absolutely love your blog. And I love being able to be with you through your ups and downs you always have great advice that applies to more than just eds. Please think about adding me to your blog group if you decide to make it private?
You are absolutely adorable. Thank you for this kind comment. I’m all over the place with my life right now – I make spontaneous decisions and then regret them later.
For the moment, I’m just hanging on with amazing people like you are…
These last few posts have really resonated with me. Whenever I check in here, I’m amazed that someone actually gets this stuff. I relate to you so much, Greta. I obviously get why you’d lock up your blog or stop writing online–I did it, too! But if you feel comfortable giving out the password, please email me. xo.
Thank you, for understanding and relating.
I still write for myself and learn from my own post. So when someone actually says – “me too; I know what you feel, go through” – feels amazing, empowering and celebration worth 😉
I still get emails occasionally from girls of all ages asking how to lose weight (despite the fact that I specifically say I won’t teach people how to lose weight, of course). I always respond with healthy information, and leads on how to educate oneself on how the body functions and nutrition works. It’s especially sad and frustrating when someone is overweight and they think they think starving is the ONLY way, because they don’t understand the science behind weightloss, aren’t able to recognize the amount they’re actually eating, and don’t have the simple tools to eat a healthy lifestyle diet. No one ever believes me when I tell them they can be thin eating 2000 calories.
Gosh, yes! You could print every bite you eat and every minute of your exercise – those won’t ever work for others, just as the diets we are bombarded with… ok, it might for some time – but how this crap saying that you’re not right. You’re not good enough. You’re unacceptable and you need to be fixed – can help one loose weight. Impossible. Only love leads to love. 😉
To live life and cherish it as we lose weight. That’s something I need to tell myself too regarding management of my ED. I keep thinking “I will do this once I’m recovered”, “I’ll be truly happy then, I’ll be beautiful then”…but like you said, I don’t need to be perfect to be happy. Happiness must be the solution to management and recovery. I was feeling down again but you’ve made my day, once again 🙂 xxx
My beautiful, Asuma, I love that you read here and relate as well. I guess we will never stop wanting more until we allow ourselves to have what we already have. To take it in. Savor it. Today is a good time to do that! 😉
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Was this private at first too? Somehow it didnt show up in my email!
But glad I found it. I have to agree with Kath, that sentence you wrote about not waiting to live life until you’ve lost weight (or gained, for that matter).. Wow. Seriously. I love it and I will try and keep it in my thoughts the coming week. I’ve been letting things get to me again the past 2 weeks and something needs to change. Thanks for kicking me up the ass a little 🙂
Big hugs for my dear. Just, because xx
Yeah, it was private for a half of the day or so… I’m such a crybaby. I’m so sensitive – but now I know that I can moderate the comments and not approve the nasty ones – my choice. 😉
And YES to Kath: there’s nowhere to rush but we can’t postpone life either… It’s only now or never. 😀
Thank you for your support for the hundredth of time.
I just found you … please don’t go away now. 🙂 I find your writing soothing and I relate to so much of it. I don’t have an ED but I work every day to manage my anxiety and depression. These days I have found healthy ways to live in the world but every now and then I stumble and it’s people like you that make that road less lonely. 🙂
Dear Colleen, thank you for this amazing and encouraging comment. I do too suffer from anxiety and depression. My ed is just the external indication of the latter things. So I’m right with you on this journey to happiness… 😉
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